Eulogy Notes by Jim

Thank you for being here.

Barney was a Brother, Husband, Father, Uncle, Grandfather, and Friend.

He was Generous, Sharing, never mean-spirited Prankster. Story-teller.

The house in which he first lived in 1933 as a baby was only 150 yards from the house he and mom spent the past 30 years.

Childhood legends.

  • Walking out of the hospital during tonsil surgery.
  • Dropping cats out of windows to see if they really "land on all fours"
    • .
  • Smoking his first cigarette at the age of 8.
  • Using kerosene instead of rubbing 2 sticks together to light fire in boy scouts
  • Building an electric chair in woodshop.

    • We found pictures of the 22 yr old military inductee. Can you imagine that we have pictures of him sunbathing in Korea; sunglasses and swimsuit? The ugly tatoo story (army encouraged to get a tatoo because he had no birthmarks to identify his body in case of death).

    Married in 1959. The Army had he and mom living in Phillipines, Holland, Luxembourg, France, etc with 3 sons born between 1960 and 1967.

    Stationed in NJ and then to Vietnam for a couple years. After his 20+ years in the Army he got out in 1974, to open the tavern for another couple decades.

    Don't remember much of my dad before 1974. I was 10, but the Army living situation had kept us separate.

    The years "living under his roof" were for me 1974-1982. That was the bar-room roof as the bar was downstairs and we lived above it . Always something cooking; literally in the kitchen ... big pots of food either for the customers or the dogs whom I swear would have warm home-cooked meals even when we didn't.

  • Pig roasts
  • Party in the yard during which he accidentaly burnt down neighboring fields with his fireworks. And then invited the firemen to join the drinking in order to forget the incident :)
  • Pool tournaments
  • Gambling on everything under the sun
  • Poker games in basement.
  • Bar fights. Bullet shot through our house.
  • That thing he did with the dollar bill and thumbtack
  • Collecting for "widow of the unknown solider"
  • He often had a lit cigarette in every ashtray along the bar
  • That piece of concrete he claimed was from the Berlin wall (but I know had come from a parking lot :)

    • Slowed down a dozen years ago about time he became a grandfather. Closed bar about the time his circulation became really bad and he had to have the angioplasty.

    A decade ago he fell off a ladder while hanging up a swing for the grandkids. Another stroke of luck for Barney because during that trip to the hospital, to fix his broken shoulder, is when his kidney cancer was discovered. The doctors said we were incredibly fortunate as had it been discovered any later it would have been fatal. (barney was not one to otherwise go to the doctors)

    Going through his papers the other night, we read that he is bronze star recipient plus other distinguised awards with double oak clusters etc for heroic action in face of hostile forces etc. We all knew him as a storyteller; but they were most usually funny stories.

    He was a guarded storyteller. In the past months, he shared a few stories of the type of which he'd not usually told before.

    The Pigsty-Well Village story. (he and another solider in a village in vietnam. vc come to village. villagers hide the 2 of them in a pigsty full of shit for a few hours. vc leave. friend goes to get jeep, dad goes to thank the villagers .... vc return. friend has to leave with the jeep, dad is stuck there. villagers put dad into a well. dad hangs there by fingertips for hours. he is terrified. can't go up because enemy doesn't take prisoners. can't go down because afraid of drowning & he can't swim. eventually loses grip and falls, only to find it's just a small amount of water. villagers later pull him out with rope. he later flags down passing army truck and gets ride back to base where he has already been listed as MIA. )

    Told in such a typically Barney fashion. Self-effacing. Pig shit. No heroics. No blame. No anger or hatred.

    Barney didn't die alone in 1968 in that pigsty-well and he didn't die alone last week. Many of you had been there to see him the weeks, days and hours before. All of your prayers, thoughts, cards have been sustaining.

    My mother, brothers & I were all with him at the very end. With about 5 minutes to go, he moved his arm, opened his eyes and looked around, we each said a few words to him ... like to believe that he responded. He then clenched his jaw, exhaled, and it was over. Easy. Quiet. Peaceful.